fml

  • 网络这个我就不说了(Fuck my life);文;柔性制造线(Flexible Manufacturing Line)

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fml

这个我就不说了(Fuck my life)

我国的古人曾开创“不亦快哉”体(收集过一些范文,点击此处可见),外国的今人又曾搞出“FML”(Fuck my life)体。纵观当今 …

"信任"用英语怎么说_百度知道 ... (ironic 反语) (fml ) (arch or joc 古或谑) ...

柔性制造线(Flexible Manufacturing Line)

同问柔性制造线(FML)、柔性制造系统(FMS)、柔性制造单元(FMC)、柔性装配线(FAL)、计算机集成制造系统(CIMS 2010-1…

1
Today, I got a call from the guy I have been seeing. I wasn't him. It was his wife wondering why I have her husband's number. FML. 今天,我接到男朋友的电话。不是他打来的。是他老婆,问我怎么有她老公的电话。FML。
2
Today, while I was working at child care, I told a two year old not to hit. He threw a bucket at me that bounced off my forehead. FML. 今天我在儿童看护中心上班,对一个两岁的孩子说不要乱丢东西。他把一只小桶扔在我脑门上。FML。
3
Today, I learned that while my mom was pregnant with me, she craved cigarettes so much that she named me Nicky after "nicotine. " FML. 今天,我才知道老妈怀着我的时候,因为太想抽烟,所以以“尼古丁”来给我命名为尼基。
4
Today, I woke up to the sun shining, the birds singing, and an eviction notice. FML. 今天我醒来,看见阳光明媚,百鸟欢唱,以及一张退房通知单。FML。
5
Today, I found out my girlfriend is pregnant and then decided to break up with her. Why? Were lesbians. FML. 今天,我得知我的女朋友有身了。于是我决议和她分手。你问为啥子?因为咱们是百合。FML。
6
Today, on an incredibly hot day, my flip flop broke, leaving me to walk barefoot on the hot asphalt for a mile and a half to my car. FML. 今天天气死热,我的拖鞋坏了,害得我在滚烫的柏油路上光脚走了一英里半才上了我的车。FML。
7
Today, I discovered that my boyfriend has no intentions of staying with me when he goes off to college. He never has. FML. 今天我发现男朋友去上学的时候从来不会想我。哦,他从来没有想过我。FML。
8
Today, I saw a weight loss 'before and after' advertisement and I wished I could at least look like the 'before'. FML. 今天,我看到一个减肥广告,上面有“减肥前”和“减肥后”的效果对比。我好希望我看起来能起码像那个“减肥前”啊。FML。
9
Today, I woke up from sleeping at my friends house with a bunch of other people, with my waist long hair cut into chunks on my pillow. FML. 今天我醒来时发现睡在朋友家里,旁边还有一堆人,我原来长到腰的头发被剪得乱糟糟地丢在枕头上。FML。
10
Today, I realized that the cashier at the liquor store and I are already on a first-name basis. I just moved to this town a week ago. FML. 今天我发现我跟卖酒商店的收银员已经熟到可以互相直呼名字了。我才搬到这镇子一个礼拜啊喂。FML。
11
Today, I moved in with my boyfriend. Up until now, I thought my cat was the only four year old I had to deal with. FML. 今天我搬去跟男朋友一起住了。之前我以为只有我家的猫是不懂事的四岁小屁孩来着。FML。
12
Today, I think my friends were trying to tell me something with all my Christmas gifts being mostly perfume, deodorant, and soap. FML. 今天朋友们送我的圣诞礼物全都是香水除臭剂和肥皂神马的。你们有话直说嘛。FML。
13
Today, my boyfriend took me to a movie. Once we got to our seat he was leaning in to kiss me but then sneezed in my mouth. FML. 今天男朋友带我去看电影。我们坐下来时,他探头过来想亲我,结果对着我的脸打了个喷嚏。FML。
14
Today, I discovered out of the 20 job applications only one job called me for an interview. They told me to leave after two sentences. FML. 今天我去投了20多份简历之后唯一一个叫我去面试的公司参加面试,聊了两句话他们就说你可以走了。FML。
15
Today, I had been sick all day, so to cheer me up my dad drove me to get ice cream. On our way back, we hit a puppy. FML. 今天我生病了。爸爸为了让我开心一点开车带我去买冰激凌。回来的时候我们撞死了一条小狗。FML。
16
Today, I called my boyfriend to tell him how excited I was to drive 12 hours to see him and his new house. His girlfriend answered. FML. 今天我给男朋友打电话说我开车12个小时来看望他和他的新家有多么兴奋。接电话的是他女朋友。FML。
17
Today, some kids stole all four wheels off my car. They were nice enough to leave a note and some money though, "for the bus" . FML. 今天有一群小屁孩把我汽车的四个轮子都偷走了,还好心地留下一张纸条和若干钞票说“拿去坐个公交吧”。FML。
18
Today, my girlfriend decided to break up with me because she found a bra in my cupboard. It was hers. FML. 今天,我的女朋友和我绝交了,原因是她在我的碗柜里发现了一个胸*罩。那是明明她的!
19
Today, the ice cream truck went by my house for the seventh time today, as it has for the last seven days of my fasting. FML. 今天卖冰激凌的车从我家门前第七次开过。今天是我七天斋戒的最后一天。FML。
20
Today, my parents punished me and made me wash my mouth out with soap for cursing. I'm almost 19. I said the word "hell" . FML. 今天,我父母因为我“说了句脏话”而处分我用沃皂洗嘴。我都快19了。我说了句“靠”。FML。
21
Today, my girlfriend dumped me for someone else. An hour earlier I had just gotten permission from her dad to propose. FML. 今天,我女友甩了我跟别人了。就在一个小时前,我才从她老爹那里得到求婚许可。
22
Today, I asked my parents to sign for me to enlist in the military. They asked me how much money the government gives them if I die. FML. 今天,我拜托我父母帮我报名加入军队。结果他们问我的是如果我死了,政府能补贴多少钱。
23
Today, I got out of the shower and felt a crunch under my foot. I lifted the bathmat thinking it was a loose tile. It was a mouse. FML. 今天我洗完澡出来,脚下咯吱一声。我以为是地砖松了,把毯子掀起来一看,原来是只老鼠。FML。
24
Today, I found out my girlfriend is pregnant and then decided to break up with her. Why? We're lesbians. FML. 今天,我得知我的女朋友怀孕了。于是我决定和她分手。你问为什么?因为我们是百合。FML。
25
Today, my friend put up the pictures from her birthday party yesterday. I'm conveniently cropped out of every single one. FML. 今天,我朋友上传了昨天生日晚会的照片。每张照片上的我都被故意抠掉了。
26
Today, while I was at work, my boss picked his nose, checked out his finding and flicked it in front of me. FML. 今天上班时,老板当着我的面挖鼻孔,仔细看了看挖出来的东西然后弹到一边。FML。
27
Today, my boyfriend was laying on top of me, looking lovingly into my eyes, when he sneezed, covering my face with snot. FML. 今天男朋友躺在我身上,很萌地看着我的眼睛,然后打了个喷嚏喷了我一脸。FML。
28
Today, I had an important job interview. The interviewer really seemed to like me. Instead of hiring me, he asked me out on a date. FML. 今天我要参加一个很重要的面试,面试官貌似很中意我。结果到最后他没录用我,反而约我出去。FML。
29
Today, I found out my girlfriend is pregnant. I then got to tell my wife. FML. 今天我发现女朋友怀孕了。我该怎么对我老婆说啊喂。FML。
30
Today, I wore my expensive new blue dress to my boyfriend's house. He made me go home because "his cat hates blue" . FML. 今天我穿着昂贵的蓝裙子到男朋友家,他把我赶了回来说他的猫讨厌蓝色。FML。